Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
