Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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