We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize