How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
