I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
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Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
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I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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