Need sex. Gaining weight.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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