Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
