I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
