She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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