perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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