I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
