Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
