So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She announced her abortion via fbk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
