Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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