it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
