so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
