do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize