I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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