I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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