i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
