I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
