I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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