I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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