She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize