haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
