Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
These tits shall not be calmed
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
