operation have a gay friend backfired
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
