i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
