I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
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its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
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He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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