remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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