glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
