I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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