Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
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His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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