I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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