I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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