ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
