You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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