oh god the rape fog is back!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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