the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
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I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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