you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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