The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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