Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
