I am in a vortex of obligation.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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