She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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