I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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