this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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