Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
