even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
