wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
