there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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