i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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