this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
