CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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