you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
