Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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