I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
