somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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