I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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