wakey wakey hands off snakey
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
