We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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